There must have been something in the air today as it seems it was Couples trip to the porn shop day. I think going to a adult shop as a couple is and can be a very good thing in keeping a relationship fresh and also helps one learn more about their partner in just looking around at shops like mine. Today I was privileged enough to witness the intimate shopping experience of several couples spanning from Cute, To annoying to downright strange. The first couple I helped today was truly adorable, An elderly couple who had been together since they were High-School sweethearts. They came in and asked for a deck of cards, I thought they meant playing cards so I showed them the two decks we carry, consisting of one called “My baby got back” named after the porn series of the same name featuring a bevy of beautiful black women and then the “Colt Stud” packs which displayed nude gay male porn stars. The man looked through the deck of “Baby got Back” cards before his wife of 40 plus years said “No,we meant cards that tell you things to do.” , “But, I am sure my husband will see something in that deck he likes for certain.” . We all shared a laugh and I showed the couple our selection of erotic games. They were just looking for something to spice up their love life and I commend them for managing to still find ways to keep it fresh after all those years. I sold them a deck of playing cards with pictures and descriptions of foreplay and sexual acts , the couple playing is to perform on their partner. As the couple left the shop I couldn’t help but smile at this couple and at the same time be a little envious at the fact they found their true love so young and still after so many years manage to be happy and not get bored with each other by constantly finding ways to have new experiences with one another, It is something we see all too rarely in this day and age.
Now for the annoying batch of couples I saw today. First a young Black couple came in and when I approached them to ask if they would like some assistance , The woman responded quite rudely and then her man says “Oh, Because you got a couple Black folk in the shop ,you gotta watch us?” “Like we gonna steal something or some shit. Just go behind the counter and mind your own shit.” I tried to explain to the man that I was simply doing my job and that his skin color bared no weight in my decision to do my job. I politely told them that if they had any questions , they should not hesitate to ask and went back to reading. One thing that always peaks my suspicion towards a shoplifter is them outing themselves by saying “I ain’t trying to take nothing.” or any variation of that sentence. As expected the couple huddled up in the corner and I could see and hear them opening every box they touched, At one point I said “If you would like me to put batteries in any of those and demonstrate them, Just bring them to the counter.” To which they again made it a race thing. Then proceeded to walk around the store and state how anything the deemed “Weird” or “Freaky” was “White Bitch shit” , Though if the coin was flipped anything a white person would say anywhere near that would be taken as racist. After some more racist banter from this lovely couple they left. Only to be followed in by yet another annoying couple, This one a duo of Asian lesbians. One fem and the other obviously butch as she looked like a 12 year old boy. I again asked if they would like some help and I was rudely shrugged off until the butch one had some questions about strap-on’s. The fem one wanted something small and the “Man” of the couple seriously got upset that she couldn’t have a “Big Dick”. I watched puzzled as this young woman honestly was getting offended as if her lover was saying that she was poorly endowed, “You trying to say I gotta small dick? That’s Fucked up.” She said. All I could think was “You have no penis” So you could wear whatever size you want in all honesty, How could she say you have a small dick when you were born without one? It’s just a toy not your flesh don’t take it so personally.Sometimes these Butch Lesbians take the whole Strap-On thing far too seriously, I mean it is and never will be part of your actual anatomy,So give it a rest. I sold the couple a “Beginners” Strap set and bid them ado. Oh,But not before the little butch one could trash talk one of their male friends by going on about how small he was and how her “Dick” is waaaay bigger….Geesh!
A little time had passed and the usual shenanigans ensued, I had a lengthy talk with “The Comic Book Guy” who I think was trying to flirt with me , At one point we were discussing “Straight” guys who go to the booths for discreet hook-up’s and I said that no matter what one tries to convince himself , If you let another man suck your dick, you are in fact gay…..Or at least Bi at that point. I see nothing wrong with that choice but people need to stop fooling themselves. At this point he asked if I have or would let a guy go down on me and how “that really isn’t gay” and I politely informed him that no I would not and that it is in fact gay no matter what color you paint it. After that interaction and learning some background on some of the booth regulars, Business slowed to nearly a halt. During my boredom I was desperately seeking something to read in order to pass time and the only thing we had in the shop that I had not read front to back twice was a copy of “50 Shades of Grey”. As I got to the third chapter of that God awful book, It was almost closing time when a middle aged couple came in and the guy looked oddly nervous and fidgety . He asked how much to go in the booths and thinking it was for both of them I told him the price for two people. He paid and headed to the hall, Although his wife stayed behind. I told her she could join him an she declined and said she just didn’t wanna wait in the car. I asked if she wanted to check anything out and she nervously said no and that she was just going to look around and wait patiently. I thought this was a really weird situation so I point my attention to the cameras and just as I expected the guy was pacing the dreaded hall looking to get into someones booth. Within a few minutes he found a willing participant and got his “Hook-Up”. All I could wonder was if his wife knew what he was going back there to do or not? I mean if so, why wouldn’t they just swing? Perhaps she was clueless and the guy has a weird masturbation addiction he uses as a cover for his gay flings? Whatever the case ma be, I found this situation beyond strange. I mean who has their wife wait in the car outside while they go into a sex shop in hopes for a down low quickie. I will never know what was going on there and although I am curious, I don’t think I really wanna know. Some things are better off left alone and I think that is one of the many.
Well, I am back to work tomorrow now that I have been blessed with more shifts and I am sure something new and exciting awaits me soon. So until then, Read on and stay pervy……
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